Friend Friday: Body Image

Photo courtesy of: http://www.desicomments.com

 

We’ve been taking it light the last few Friend Friday’s so this week we’re talking about body image.  It is a very serious topic for me because up until the last few years, I’ve had a very negative few of my body image.  I was striving to be someone else instead of just trying to be me and trust me, that was no easy road.  So I’m glad we’re talking about this because it’s something very close to my heart!

Since you started blogging has your image of yourself changed?

 In terms of my body image, I’ve actually become more comfortable in my own skin since I started blogging.  When I first started I was a major crossroad in my life – the legal career that I spent the last six or so years trying to obtain was not materializing despite doing everything I was “supposed” to do and excelling in my studies.  So when I decided to blog my self confidence was really low so of course that translated into a negative self image.  So the more I blogged, tweeted, and received feedback from others in the community, my self confidence began to rise and with it my self-image because not only was I starting to hold my own in a place I knew nothing about, I was doing what I really loved to do all along – writing.  Now I feel like I’m in my place, my zone.  I feel confident enough to forgive myself on those days when I don’t feel good enough, fashionable enough, or pretty enough and I know if I blog about it, my peeps out there would totally understand!

Are you self-conscious about any aspect of yourself? If so, do you go out of your way to avoid it or do you post it/talk about it anyway?
One thing I’ve been very self conscious about (and it’s happened recently) is my hair.  I’ve been growing out my relaxer (9 months strong!) and rediscovering my natural hair.  It’s an exciting and a scary thing because I’m relearning my hair.  Products that I’ve used faithfully started turning on me and I was really going through it!  So some days I really love my hair and other days I really don’t.  It’s new to me so I’m very self conscious about it as it goes through its changes.  I’m also self conscious about my stomach which is a little pudgier than what I would like and now that I’m taking a lot more outfit pictures, it’s a lot more noticeable to me.

Despite the fact that I wanna go chop my hair off or get liposuction, I don’t go out of my way to avoid either one.  As a matter of fact, I would rather talk about it because I can’t be the only one going through this (this world is way too big!)  The blogging community is all about supporting each other and if I can’t be open about what I don’t like about myself, how can I help someone is feels like I do (or  how can they help me) if I don’t talk about it.

Based on how you are feeling now, what do you think the future holds in the evolution of your body image?

Well as for my chubby, pudgy belly, I’ve gotten back into the gym since the New Year started (after being on a 3 month hiatus) and working on losing the rest of this weight.  I’m not expecting to be a size 8 but I will be a nice 12/14, which would suit me just fine.  As for my hair, the transitioning process will take awhile, maybe another 5 or 6 months with the help of my hair dresser, so this in-between stage won’t last either.  So what I have a problem with now, won’t be so this time next year.

I’ve also found that as I get older (OMG I’m going to be 30 this year), I’ve become more accepting of myself.  I don’t have the same insecurities I had in my teens or in my twenties. So I’m looking forward to being more accepting and forgiving of myself because I’ve come such a long way already.

Do you photograph yourself for your blog? If so, how do you feel about the experience when you’re having your picture taken? If you choose not to post pictures of yourself, what prompted that decision?


I’m photographing myself now more than ever now that I have a decent camera and a tripod.  At first the experience was a little nerve racking because my insecurities were starting to creep up.  Now that I’m basically taking photos every day, I’m becoming a lot more confident and that in turn let’s me have fun with it!  I just keep reminding myself that it’s okay that my hair isn’t perfect or my tummy is a little bit rounder than normal.  It’s me and that all comes with the territory!

What would you want every person who struggles with body image to take to heart?

Your body image isn’t determined by outside forces such as media or even other fashion bloggers.  Body Image is directly linked to your self-confidence.  If you think you’re ugly, no makeup artist, fashion stylist, or surgeon in the world could ever fix that for you.  Ask yourself how do you feel about you?  What do you love about yourself?  What are you good at?  And once you have that figured out, hold onto it when those self-loathing monsters start creeping up.  Remember those good things about you and when you do, a positive body image will naturally follow!

A great blog that not only focuses on fashion but on body image as well is Already Pretty.  A must read for anyone who struggles with body image as well as a great place for fashion information and inspiration. 

What about you?  What are your thoughts on body image?  What do you struggle with?

  

If you’re interested in joining the Friend Friday fun, head on over to Modly Chic to find out the details!

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14 Comments

  1. Great answers 🙂
    I hear you with the hair…that’s one thing I’m always going to be sensitive about. I always want it to look good!

    Reply
    • Yes, you always want your hair to look good as well as healthy so it’s definitely a challenge to find that balance!

      Reply
  2. I have been transitioning for two years and I love my hair now. And I am a part of the no chop crew. Congrats on nine months. Love your honesty.

    Reply
  3. nice new site design, very chic 🙂

    loved the post, completely feel where you are coming from. glad that blogging helped to pull you out of the depths of blahness, this whole generation is feeling that sense of WTF with the whole job market thing and not feeling worthy because we aren’t working where we wanted to be or at the pay grade we thought schooling would guarantee

    Reply
    • Thank you!

      Yes, two years ago was a completey WTF moment when it came to the law thing. They tell you all of these things in school and when you get into the real world you are completely blindsided! LOL. Thankfully though, if that wouldn’t have happened, I wouldn’t be doing what I love now so it’s all good!

      Reply
  4. “If you think you’re ugly, no makeup artist, fashion stylist, or surgeon in the world could ever fix that for you.” so true!
    You know I have naturally frizzy/curly hair (really its frizzy and I slap on product to get it to curl) – reading your post reminded me that growing up I really struggled to accept my hair and it was integral to my body image! I came to love it of course with age (such an underated process getting older and more mature!) and although it does have many a bad hair day I’m glad I have my head of hair!

    Reply
    • Yeah, I never realized how much hair can have on one’s self image. But with everything you have to accept it as what makes you so unique. Getting older definitely helps and I really didn’t realize how much more comfortable I became as I approach the next stage in life!

      Reply
  5. MJ I love the new header design!

    LOL at chugy pudgy belly. I have that same issue. I started with the working out too but I keep getting distracted by Godiva!

    Reply
    • Thank you Michelle! I’ve been racking my brain on getting a new header design. It’s starting to grow on me!

      Child, this belly is stubborn as hell! And Godiva is deliciously evil! LOL

      Reply
  6. So appreciate your honesty, MJ. And I agree…the blogging community is such great support!

    So glad you are enduring the relaxer grow-out process. I’m loving that more ladies of color are going back to natural. I am so CRAZY for those curls! And they seriously seem to suit everyone!

    ••V••
    http://www.gritandglamour.com
    @gritandglamour

    Reply
    • Thanks V! And the grow out process is enduring! But I’m excited because my hair hasn’t been really natural since the days when I was rocking Rudy Huxtable hair! LOL

      Reply

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